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Tech Support - Entertaining Calls For Help : Episode 2

Scene - 1 Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.” Tech Support: “Did you install the update?” Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?” Scene - 2 Customer: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.” Tech Support: “Tell me what you’ve done.” Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.” Tech Support: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.” Customer: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.” Tech Support: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.” Customer: “What?” Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?” Customer “No…” Scene - 3 Customer: “I’m thinking about writing a book on the problems I’m having with S3 Video cards and Warp and…” (blah, blah, blah, etc.) Tech Support: “What exactly is your problem?” Customer: “I’ve downloaded the video drivers for the PS/VP’s with the S3 chipset, and they won’t work on my machine.” Tech Support: “Have you got a PS/VP sir?” Customer: “Well…no.” Customer: “I would like to place an order.” Tech Support: “Unfortunately, we are unable to take orders over the phone. All orders must be placed on our web site.” Customer: “Web site?” Tech Support: “You need access to a computer that’s connected to the Internet in order to visit our Internet site and place an order.” Customer: “Where is the computer?” Tech Support: “…” Scene - 4 Tech Support: “Ok, let’s put your operating system disk in the drive.” Customer: “Ok…which way does it go in?” Tech Support: “The shiny side faces down.” Customer: “Alright…um…which way is down.” Tech Support: (rolling eyes) “Towards the floor.” Customer: “Ahhh…so what way does the other side face?” Tech Support: “Are you kidding?” Customer: (outraged) “Hey! I’m not a computer genius, ok? That’s why I called you!” Tech Support: “Ok, that side faces down too.”

That kept her occupied for a couple of minutes, while I told my colleagues what was happening and we had a good laugh. Scene - 5 Tech Support: “Ok, ma’am, I need you to do a ctrl-alt-del.” Customer: “How do I do that?” Tech Support: “Push and hold ‘ctrl’ and ‘alt’ at the same time, and then hit ‘delete’.” Customer: “Where are those?” Tech Support: (explains the location of the keys) Customer: “Nothing happened.” Tech Support: “Try again.” Customer: “Still nothing.”

A minute or two later…. Customer: “Should I turn my computer on? Would that help?” Tech Support: “Yeah, it might.” Scene - 6

I went to the post office to ship a package of software to a customer. Since the software was expensive, I decided to insure it. As the postal employee was filling out the insurance form, he asked me what I was shipping. Me: “Software.” Him: “You mean, like, pajamas?” Scene - 7 Tech Support: “Ok, I can help you install the software. Would you like me to do that?” Customer: “Yes.” Tech Support: “All right, can you insert the disk in the disk drive please?” Customer: “How?” Tech Support: “Place the disk in the opening at the front of the computer.” Customer: “Will I have to have my computer delivered before we can do this?” Tech Support: “Um yes, that might be an idea.”
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Scene - 1 Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.” Tech Support: “Did you install the update?” Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to instal
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